I think one of the hardest things I face in my life right now, is the distance I am forced to have with the ones I love.
This school is so damned far away, I havent been home in over 3 months. I havent had that hug that I love so much from Tara in over 3 months. I havent gone for coffee with Todd, or to a stupid movie on a whim in over 3 months. It is beginning to bring me down I think. To lose those familiarities you take for granted everyday.
And then I've engaged myself in a relationship with someone completely wonderful, who is so close, yet too far for me to be with all the time. Im tired of missing the ones I love so dearly. It hurts.

I think if I can tough it out until May, I will leave here, where Im going I haven't decided yet, but I know I can't stay. I fell like Im just holding onto a security blanket with my family, that If I dont let go, Ill never be truly on my own. But Im still a kid, shouldnt I be allowed to hang on for just a few years more?
Sadness is only the tip of the true feelings i have right now, and Im trying to work things out. Theres so much in my life to be grateful for, and these are the things I am trying to concentrate on. Thank you to the ones who make me smile. I know that you know who you are. I love you guys so much.